SUGINAMI-Goichi Suda of Grasshopper Manufacture today surprised
journalists by making a series of shocking statements. “I’ve officially run out
of psychedelics,” he said to a room of bewildered animal press members. “I need
your help to finish Lollipop Chainsaw.”
When pressed on specifics, Suda smiled. “I ran out of my
reserve supplies,” he said. “DMT, LSD, psilocybin mushrooms, all of these were
critical to the creative process behind Grasshopper’s titles.”
Clucktaku chicken contributor Gallus Fowl asked Suda if the
announcement would impact Lollipop Chainsaw’s development. “Enemy zombies are
already led by a group of zombie rock and roll lords,” he said. “If you want
Keith Richards visuals for that, you should make a few phone calls.”
When asked if the announcement was a result of poor Shadows
of the Damned sales, Suda nodded. “I snuck a tab of LSD into the “M” rating on
every game case,” he said. “It was extremely expensive. Just pick up a new
copy, hold it on your tongue, wait thirty minutes, and get ready to understand
Killer 7’s ending.”
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